Monthly Archive for November, 2008

The Power of Being Congruent

Published
by
David
on November 18, 2008
in Uncategorized
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“The greatest lesson of life is that you are responsible for your life.” - Oprah Winfrey

Sometimes a change in behavior does not follow a change of thinking.

Have you ever been in a position where you have done something you didn’t want to do?  Perhaps you did it to please someone and then felt you had done yourself a disservice.

Or maybe you made a decision to lead a healthier lifestyle and take up running, aerobics, martial arts or yoga, but when the time came to attend a class or go to the gym you reverted to your previously conditioned bad habit.  It’s at times like these you feel a misalignment.

This state of misalignment is what is known as “incongruence.”  The behavior doesn’t match the level of desired or stated change.  Deep inside you want to act a certain way, but when the time comes you resist the inner urge and say something like, “not this time” or “maybe next time.”

This is incongruence; it is not something that success thrives on. Success requires congruence and this means alignment on all levels from purpose, right down to behavior.

Only then can affect your environment in the way you really want.  This is the process of building self-confidence – knowing that you have executed a change of mind and acted accordingly.  Being able to recognize when you are being incongruent is the first step in making your desired change happen.

The feeling of incongruence doesn’t have to stem from a major life realization – it can happen during the course of a business meeting, a sales presentation or in a conversation with a partner.  So whatever you’re doing, it pays to be able to be able to recognize feelings of incongruence.

When you take a close look at the times when you are being successful, chances are you are also feeling happy and confident.  Of course you can imagine all sorts of bad things happening if you choose to, but when you’re engaged in the act of doing something superbly well is when you’ll be at your happiest.

There is an old saying, “if you have to ask yourself if you are happy then you are probably not.”  Happiness is a state of mind, and you arrive at it through being congruent in your actions.

So now you know what comes next.  It’s time for you to Show Up, Suit Up & Step Up!

The Best is yet to come!

David Martin
505.821.0157 direct
info@empowermax.com

The Importance of Beliefs

Published
by
David
on November 11, 2008
in Uncategorized
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“There can only be one solution to any problem: a change in attitude and in consciousness.” - Gregg Braden

The beliefs that we each have about ourselves, others and the way the world is have a major impact on the quality of our experience. Because of the ‘self-fulfilling prophecy effect’, beliefs influence behavior. They can support particular behavior or inhibit it.

This is why modeling beliefs is so important.

One of the simplest ways to model the beliefs of people with outstanding abilities is to ask them questions about why they do what they do. The answers they give you will be rich with insights into their beliefs and values.

There is a story of a child in Rome who spent hours watching a strange young man work intently. Finally, the boy spoke, “Signore, why are you hitting that rock?“  Michelangelo looked up from his work and answered, “Because there is an angel inside and it wants to come out.”

Beliefs will generally take one of three main forms. They can be beliefs about what things mean. For example, if you believe that life is basically a competitive struggle and then you die, you are likely to have a very different experience of life than if you believe that it is a kind of spiritual school with many rich and fulfilling lessons to offer.

Beliefs can also be about what causes what (cause and effect). And so will give rise to the rules we choose to live by. Or again, they can be beliefs about what is important and what matters most, so giving rise to our values and criteria.

In modeling out beliefs, you want to focus on those that are most relevant to and supportive of the particular skills and competencies that you are interested in. Some good questions to elicit beliefs and metaphors are:

  • Why do you do what you do?
  • What does that mean to you?
  • What would happen if you didn’t do that?
  • What is that like?  What do you compare it to?
  • What is empowering to you about this?

Once you have elicited the beliefs of your model you can begin to experiment with them for yourself. When you go beyond simple understanding and actually ‘try on a belief’ to ‘see how it fits’, the difference can be profound.

You do this by simply acting for a time as if the beliefs were true and noticing what changes when you do. One of Einstein’s core beliefs was that the universe is a friendly place. Imagine how different the world might seem if you were to act as if that were true.

  • What new actions would you take if you believe that?
  • What would you do differently?
  • What else would you be capable of?

If you realize that the only thing between you and what you want is a belief, you can begin to adopt a new one by simply acting as if it were true.

Put everything you have into everything you do, because the best is yet to come!

David Martin
505.821.0157 direct
info@empowermax.com

Learning & Unlearning

Published
by
David
on November 6, 2008
in Uncategorized
. 0 Comments

“No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.” - Barbara DeAngelis

Although we can consciously take in only a very small amount of information the world offers us, we notice and respond to much more without being aware.  Our conscious mind is very limited and seems able to keep track of a maximum of seven variables or pieces of information at one time.

This idea was originally outlined in 1956 by the American psychologist George Miller and a classic paper called “The Magic Number Seven, Plus or Minus Two.”  These pieces of information do not have a fixed size; they can be anything from driving a car to looking in the rear view mirror.

One way we learn is by consciously mastering small pieces of behavior, and combining them into larger and larger chunks, so they become habitual and unconscious.  We formed habit, so we are free to notice other things.

So our conscious is limited to seven plus or minus two pieces of information, either from the internal world of our thoughts, or from the external world.  Our unconscious, by contrast, is all the life-giving processes of our body, although we have learned, our past experiences, and all that we might notice, but do not, in the present moment.

The unconscious is much wiser than the conscious mind.  The idea of being able to understand an infinitely complex world with a conscious mind that can only hold about seven pieces of information at once, is obviously ludicrous.

The notion of conscious and unconscious is central to this model of how we learn.  In NLP, something is conscious when it is in present moment, awareness, as this sentence is right now.  Something is unconscious when it is not in present moment awareness.

The background noises that you can hear were probably unconscious until you read the sentence.  The memory of your first sight of snow is almost certainly out of conscious awareness.  If you have ever helped a young child to learn to ride a bike, you’ll be aware of just how unconscious that skill has become in yourself.  And the process of turning your last meal into hair and toenails is likely to remain forever unconscious.

We live in a culture which believes that we do most of what we do consciously.  Yet most of what we do, and what we do best, we do unconsciously.

By learning to become a master of your unconscious mind, you’ll be come a master of your life.

The best is yet to come!

David Martin
505.821.0157 direct
info@empowermax.com

Do Something

Published
by
David
on November 4, 2008
in Uncategorized
. 0 Comments

“In the absence of clearly-defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia until ultimately we become enslaved by it.” - Robert Heinlein

This is somewhat of an edited version of a previous post.  The concept is simple and especially appropriate due to today’s election here in the USA.

It matters not what side of the polling booth you are on.  People on both sides are angry, fearful, unsure, stuck and downright freakin’ out on what’s going to happen.  Regardless of the outcome this has been an historic series of events in the good ol’ US of A.

Via emails, phone calls, text messages (no you can’t have my cell number Virginia) people have been seeking guidance on what to do next.

Here’s my response to them - “Do something, do anything.”

Example - some people feel they have to get in shape before they can even go to the gym. They end up doing nothing because the situation isn’t quite right; they’re not quite ready etc.

Perfection in life is not an option. No matter how good you get at something you can always get better. Just get started.

You want to get in shape? Do 20 push ups today before you get in the shower.

You want to increase your net worth? Put money into a savings account today.

You want to earn more each month? Make another call today.

You want to increase your knowledge in a particular area? Read book on it today.

And the list goes on.

Just do something, just do anything.

Taking action begins to create momentum in the direction of your goal.   Assuming you have a goal or list of goals.

Election results notwithstanding - “Do something, do anything.”

In the mean time, put everything you have into everything you do.

Show Up, Suit Up & Step Up because the best is yet to come!

David Martin
505.821.0157 direct
info@empowermax.com